Sunday, September 28, 2014

Last Day at the Office

It seems like it was only months ago that I moved my desk into my very first office, the room meant only for writing. Perhaps it seems it was only months ago, because it was, in fact, only months ago.

After five short months at the house, my husband and I are now being pushed out by our persistent, and non-paying, tenant of death, known to others as the Arizona Scorpion—ugly little bastards with poisonous, sometimes deadly, tails.

Thinking back, we should have moved out the day we realized there was a problem, but due to the fabulousness of the rest of the house—the five burner stove, two offices, a soaking tub—it was easier to hope we could pull through.

Admittedly, the stove’s fancy fifth burner was never used—four is quite enough—and the soak tub was only used as a shower. But I still wasn’t willing to leave my new office which screamed of creative endeavors, and untold literary journeys.

Up and till this house my “office” has been in several un-office-like spaces. Often living rooms, sometimes bedrooms, various coffee shops, the bathroom once. Though, I can’t for the life of me remember why I chose the John for that day. Point is, this office, this space, belonged to me and my books, and I had a hard time letting it go. I knew if I left the house, its new tenant mightn’t be pleased if I dropped by to use the office every day.

Alas, after five months of scorpion hunting, checking the dog’s kennel, my shoes, bed, and underwear for scorpions—yes, underwear. I prefer my privates private and scorpion free—I finally realized, all good things must come to an end. Especially when infested with scorpions.

It is with great sorrow that I spend my last day at this office, before my husband and I move into our new, scorpion-free, two bedroom apartment where we will “share” the office. We’ll be “sharing”  for two days, until I find him way too annoying—as husbands often are—and volunteer to move my desk into the living room, kitchen, or possibly the John.

Farewell words to my office: Thanks for the time I got with you. Hope the new tenant spills less coffee on your carpet. Though, considering the carpet is coffee colored, I never saw a problem with it.

Farewell words to the scorpions: Enjoy my house, you fu**ers.